On Nathan, Jon, Twilight and Sailor Moon

So as Kelly was trying to get underneath the covers she stepped on my keyboard and made my blog page really small. And I am talking about the actual page, not the window. It is a little frustrating.

Anyway, Nathan and I are having a hard time trying to find a song that describes us and I figured I would just write one. And OF COURSE I had a ton of thoughts last night, and have now none. It possibly could be because I am listening to music (specifically Paramore).

So I really don't know why I decided to write this. I guess I can start thinking of my day. Well I had lunch with Ms. Lisa and then talked to Jon for a while, both were very pleasant. It was nice to actually see Ms. Lisa get frustrated about something for once (i.e. Crichton politics) and watching Jon imitate his new teacher and his frustrating rants about the same teacher was, well for lack of a better word, hilarious! I also have been pondering Twilight. Some things about it are still not making me happy. I know, I know!! Every girl wants the Bella/Edward relationship. And I was tempted the first time around but now I find it stupid. I know Meyer's point was to show the resistance of temptation and all the other mormon based stuff she wanted to preach about, but it still seems so unrealistic on a level. Obviously it is fiction but, come on. Jon said something about it today: He said it would have been a whole lot more interesting to see Edward give up his vampirism (is that even the right word) for Bella. To take the path of redemption to reach her. (You know like Angel in Angel, but maybe I am revealing my age with that statement) I told him to pitch the idea to Katie. And I hope you read this, Katie!

I am also reading Waking the Dead by John Eldredge. He is one of my favorite authors! His is one of the few theologies that I can almost agree with, I actually haven't found much of anything (that I can remember) that I didn't see truth in. But I am always open to human failure. Anyway, if you have ever read Eldredge you know that he talks about Spiritual warefare, God's passion for us and becoming what God made us to be. You will find these three points in everything he writes (and I have actually read about three of his books, so I have some of an idea what I am talking about). So I was in my room the other morning getting ready thinking about being a kid. Eldredge always does that to me. When I realized I had a dream of becoming something. Whenever this topic came up in his books I thought about how I wanted to be a Vet and detective, possibly both at the same time. I wanted to be a whale trainer, I wanted to live overseas. But I had forgotten about something. The thing I did more that anything else was make-believe. I would make a world where I was Sailor Moon's friend, or Goku's helper. I was also Luke Skywalker's apprentice. There were so much more. I had Lord of the Rings one's. I also would take combinations of stories and piece them together. For a while I made believe I was this girl that every fantasy character came to for help when a crisis hit.

I know with saying all that I have made a complete nerd of myself. But I kicked butt!! More than anything I wanted to help people, I wanted to be a hero and I wanted to be noticed. As I got older I didn't need to be noticed as much, my deeds could be done in secret. But I realized I am not crazy for doing all this. This was who God created me to be, I was just being her in the wrong arena. Some of the characters I identified with the most were one's sent to save the world. Some where not even from Earth, but they were sent to protect it.

And that's who I am. I was sent here to protect people. No, I am not crazy. I am obviously of earth, but in a sense I am not of this world. God made me a protector and I pray to see what that could look like.

I am going to abrubtly end this now.

A day

My kids performed today at a PTO meeting. Well, they actually did the 5 positions in ballet. We have just begun to learn our new dance and I hope they can absorb it in time for our show in February.

These are such trivial things.

My real reason in writing this was to let everyone know my best friend in the whole wide world passed her pharmacy exam and I am so immensely proud of her!!!!!!!

I think I am kind of lame.

For Suffering

I want to find your spirit that has been inside all along.
You poured your love into my heart when I suffered.
At the worst, you were there.
The suffering is cultivating an endurance to keep seeking after you.
The endurance is producing a character that is forming into your image.
The character is requiring a hope in everything that is life.
And my life is you.

In the suffering I died.
It was a death for Christ's sake.
For he lives in me so his life can be known.
"So death is at work in [me], but life in you."
So I will rejoice in suffering because it is the Holy Spirit working in me.
And I will shout for joy in death.



*I humbly come before God and thank Him for all He has done.

Found my second, or is that third, passion

I am teaching my kids again!!!!

They have grown from fifteen to forty!!! And that is just my younger class!!!


YAY!!!!

So ummm..found my passion again.

Of course numero uno passion is God. I don't know how He puts up with me...oh wait, He's God. I don't deserve Him and I don't deserve this world He created.

I had to write that because I have to remind myself who really is the only thing that matters in life, all else is just vanity.

Now that is said.

I found Ireland again!!! YAY!!!!

I have had a renewed love for my country. And I think I may be able to study it in Grad School. Nathan has agreed to let me study abroad during summers(in Boston and Ireland) so I can get REAL classes in Irish History as well as classes at Memphis! Do I have an amazing future husband or what?!?

I just wanted to give that update! Love you guys!


Please pray that I keep my focus on things above.

"This is Me"

So I found a great song to go with life right now. And yes...it is totally CAMP ROCK! For culturally impaired people (or grownups), that means Disney. :) I am so not an adult sometimes. I want to preface by saying God is the ultimate healer, life giver and protector.

This Is Me

I've always been the kind of girl
That hid my face
So afraid to tell the world
What I've got to say
But I have this dream
Right inside of me
I'm going to let it show
It's time
To let you know
To let you know

This is the real, this is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now
Gonna let the light
Shine on me
Now I found
Who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be
This is me

Do you know what it's like to feel so in the dark
To dream about a life where you're the shining star
Even though it seems
Like it's to far away
I have to believe in myself
It's the only way

This is the real, this is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now
Gonna let the light
Shine on me
Now I found
Who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be
This is me

You're the voice I hear inside my head
The reason that I'm singing
I need to find you
I gotta find you
You're the missing piece I need
The song inside of me
I need to find you
I gotta find you
This is the real, this is me
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now
Gonna let the light
Shine on me
Now I found who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be

This is me
You're the missing piece I need
The song inside of me
This is me
You're the voice I hear inside my head
The reason that I'm singing

Now I found who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I want to be
This is me

Once an Iceberg

"My dad once said at the table that he had to put his cat to sleep and I wanted to scream, because how dare he take that decision away from me. It was my burden."

I wrote that in my last blog and it reminded me of Christ. How dare we claim the absolution of our sins, when Christ died for them. When we do something right, for once in our wretched lives, it is Christ, not us, who does it. My sin, my screwups, my "Fall" is Christ's burden, and how dare I take credit for it? How dare I? I can imagine him turning over tables at my sadness and pride.

"I know why the lowest pit of Hell
Is ice:
Life is in motion;
If you are frozen, what good are you?
You are dead, and good for nothing;
Good only to be cast out,
And trodden under the feet of men." - Jon

How dare I remain an iceberg? My greatness is there for the world to see. It is God! It is there in blood stained hands and feet, organs falling in a limp body and a last cry of help.

O God, let me be on fire for you.